I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
