well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We talked him into tasing himself.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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