Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
