Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
