Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
