I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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