question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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