No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Come share oat with me in your robe
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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