I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
