the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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