Everything about him screamed your future.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize