sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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