ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
