ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
