ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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