I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
