She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize