Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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