if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you never un-have a 4some
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
