OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
