a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
how does that bad decision feel?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
