I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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