they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
