How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
