This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize