So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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