I wannas sexs uuuuu
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
FUCK WHALES
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