I accidentally had phone sex last night
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
