yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
