i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
