I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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