Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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