I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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