Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
