We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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