Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
