are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
