i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
