so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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