did you get engaged???
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Still dying that you shit outside
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
