this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
