I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
