hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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