sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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