He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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