I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
