there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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