I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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