Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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