I swear she didn't look like that last week.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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