were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
