Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
