I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize