i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
