If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i dont even know how to be here
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
