we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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