I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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