well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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