remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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