I'm going to jail i love you
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
