Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
