No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
