I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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