I need to stop coming to work sober
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize