we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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