I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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