there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
