I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
