dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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