I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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