i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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