We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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