Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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