i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
