your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
