Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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