All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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