goodnight i made you a song goodbye
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
